September 16, 1999
Scum of the Earth? - THE COMMENTARY
By Joseph Planta
We have so many myths in society, at least here in Lotusland: lawyers and accountants are shysters, Reformers are hicks, and Quebeckers..., well I don’t want to go there. Back to the lawyers, the ones I’ve gotten to know aren’t all that bad, they were actually human. Lawyers, I guess when they go through law school, become long winded and crass. That’s why the image. The current pet peeve I have, besides with The Liberal Party of Canada, are with real estate agents.
The neighbors next door, have been trying, unsuccessfully, to unload their house for months now. Not a week after the signs were put up, and the pictures placed in the papers, we started getting calls, letters and visits from real estate agents. They had offers for our house, because if you take our house, as well as the one for sale, you could put up three houses. Well, all kinds of Realtors phoned and asked if we were interested in selling. They told us about how much money we’d make, and how the neighbourhood would somehow be better. They tried to be convincing, but we couldn’t be bought.
The real estate business, much like other businesses in this region are dependent to the climate and the economy of the region. It’s a tough beat, and I sympathize with those in the game. The real estate agents do such embarrassing and shameless things to get a commission. They wrote, near-threatening letters saying they’ve got great, nay amazing and important offers for us. I felt nauseated when we got visits at the door, and always at the most inopportune moments. They left cards, and they left brochures, stuff that didn’t it make it past our eyes, but straight to the garbage. (Oops, I mean recycling bin.)
I did however get some satisfaction from at least two of these buggers. One came to the door, when no one was home at the time, just me and asked if I owned the house. So I said to him my parents do and I am their son. (Selling a house, requires no formal training in common sense.) He then asked if I knew if they wanted to sell, after which he prodded me to convince my parents to sell. The nerve! So mustering up my best British demeanor, told him in an almost rehearsed diatribe, “We do not have any plans at this time to sell our home!” He asked how about if they offered a good deal, I reacted with my most terse, “Absolutely not.” I’m sure the man must have questioned my nerve.
I think the agents I’ve had to deal with are lucky they’ve dealt with me. If they had have met up with my dad, I’m sure they’d have gotten a couple of expletives thrown their way. I took my run-ins with the newly christened ‘scum of the earth’, in stride and hopefully they got the message clear. So, Real Estate Agents, remember: Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
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