January 1, 2001
Here we go again - THE COMMENTARY
By Joseph Planta
Good New Year’s Monday. I am reminded of that ever haunting melody that Lloyd Webber wrote for his adaptation of Sunset Boulevard. Don Black and Christopher Hampton wrote to that melody: “It’s new year’s eve and hopes are high, dance one year in, kiss one goodbye. Another chance, another start, so many dreams to tease the heart.”
VANCOUVER -- A new year is upon us. While I reviewed the year previous, rather shoddily if I do say so, in this space on Friday, let me look ahead to 2001. Arthur C. Clarke in Saturday’s National Post is quoted as saying he was off, in that “there’s no Hilton yet in space.” Maybe next year. Since I have no enamoured interest in things of the science fiction ilk, I’ll leave references to HAL and stuff like that to those that actually know what the hell a HAL is.
Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Ujjal Dosanjh and the NDP will be buried in the election that will probably be in March. Of 79 seats, the NDP will win no less than 19. The Liberals will win the balance, unless of course the NDP will surprise us and win more. Which is all possible in this crazy world of British Columbian politics. The Green Party and Reform BC will not win one seat between the two of them, but they’ll be charged with vote splitting on both sides of the political spectrum.
George W. Bush will say something stupid.
Vaughn Palmer, in the Vancouver Sun and the National Post, will write brilliant columns exposing Liberal exploits. Peter Warren will cut down on his radio work and work on a book.
Jean Chrétien will govern like he’s got a majority and I’m sure will say something stupid. Hello there “tough love” to the West. Stockwell Day will maintain his “agenda of respect”, yet his party won’t. Look for Preston Manning to pack up his political career sometime this year.
Tom Green will do something stupidly funny.
Lucien Bouchard will be rumoured to be on the way out in Quebec and support for Jean Charest and the Quebec Liberals will rise. While Quebec separatist fervour simmers in la belle province, BC malcontent will be loud, but no one east of Manitoba will hear. Canada, according to the Liberal Party, is fine.
Madonna will become pregnant again. Celine Dion will bear children making so big a deal of it that it will sicken most of the world. Some will wish she’d have gone down with the Titanic.
Rosie O’Donnell will continue to say she’s leaving television, but no one will believe her, because no one will be watching her daily talkfest anymore. Oprah reigns supreme yet again.
Survivor II will be a success, but not as huge as its predecessor; by then we’ll realise we’ve actually got lives.
Rob Lowe, angry at the attention lobbed his co-star Martin Sheen on The West Wing, will leave the show.
Frasier will be cancelled by NBC and CBS will try and pick it up for the Tiffany Network’s schedule. Kelsey Grammer will figure out the magic is gone, yet not soon enough.
Brian Mulroney will be touted as a possible successor for Joe Clark, but then we wake up from the collective nightmare. Bernard Lord, the young chap who’s playing the part of Premier in Nova Scotia will emerge on the federal scene as a prelude to a leadership battle at the Tories in 2002. Peter MacKay, the other young Tory from New Brunswick will make news in a similar vain.
Jean Chrétien’s future as leader of the Liberal Party and Prime Minister of Canada will be sealed. Backroom deals will be cooked up in the hopes that Paul Martin will take over soon. Brian Tobin will cause trouble, stabbing a certain colleague in the back. Tobin’s profile will increase in the minds of Canadians as the successor to Jean Chrétien.
Gordon Campbell will bring a new face to the government of British Columbia. He’ll make mistakes and the press will be merciless. The rest of Canada will laugh at us, still.
The name Steven Soderbergh will be said over and over again in 2001. He’ll win at least one Oscar in the spring, if not he’ll feature prominently during the telecast. Julia Roberts will see her career’s fate sealed.
One of Canada’s “national” newspapers will undergo major changes.
Justin Trudeau will find work that will put him in the public eye.
Look for a surprise appointments in the following BC positions, as they’ll be vacated sometime this year: Lieutenant-Governor, the Senate seat currently held by Ray Perrault and Conflict-of-Interest Commissioner of BC.
With the above in consideration, Rick Hansen, Carole Taylor, Grace McCarthy, Sophia Leung, Jack Monroe, and Jenny Kwan, will find new employment that will bring them some public attention.
We’ll see some new game shows on television, but none will last.
Mike Bullard will remain as Canada’s only late night talk show host, for silly reasons, as he’s not funny at all.
Ronald and Nancy Reagan will make news this year.
Bill and Hillary Clinton will continue to make news.
Bernadette Peters will don the role of Mama Rose in Gypsy. She’ll be on her way to musical theatre legend status, if she isn’t there yet.
Nicole Kidman will shock us in a movie role, and Friends will be no longer Thursday nights on NBC.
To quote Allan Fotheringham, who said in Maclean’s one year ago, “The sun will rise in the east, grandchildren will be born and people will fall in love.”
A lot can happen in year; I doubt I’ll get everything but Foth’s point right. Happy New Year.
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An archive of Joseph Planta's previous columns can be found by clicking HERE .