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'I'll sleep when I'm dead' - THE COMMENTARY

By Joseph Planta

LAS VEGAS, NV -- When Warren Zevon wrote the song, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead," one gets the feeling he was talking about Las Vegas. Between the food and the lights, the slots and the sluts, there's so much to do. Alas, one's feet, not to mention resistance to the heat of the Nevadan desert, eventually does you in.

There's much to see in Sin City, and a couple days into the experience, I'm both overwhelmed with what is left to do, yet would be more than happy if I had to go home at this very moment. The heat is unbearable, but you get used to it. It's a dry sort of heat. Humid, dry, yet blowing. Perhaps it's the "Summer Wind" that Sinatra sang about? Inside the casinos and the hotels it's cold. Cool, yet after a while annoyingly cold.

I am not a gambler. Having worked at a casino for a summer job last summer, I kinda got turned off games of chance. I'm not here to gamble, but here to see a show and, oh yeah, my cousin Phil's wedding. So in the meantime, it's walking up the Strip for dinner, looking at the lights and displays set forth just for us dear tourists. I'd drop a bit at the slot machines. What else is there to do when you're waiting for dinner, and when table games have turned you off emphatically.

I'm an insomniac, thus you'd think this town was made for me. Alas, the glut orgy of lights, legalised gaming and cheap thrills, doesn't suit your old correspondent. I'm here for a wedding, not to sow my wild oats.

It's interesting to see this Las Vegas. In a way it's transforming itself into a family-friendly metropolis for tourists, yet it still is humping its seedy side for those said men and women willing to sow their respective wild oats for all to see, namely those videos you can now buy from a late night television commercial. It leaves me uneasy that Vegas can't seem to seamlessly bridge that gap. Sure it would be utterly sickening if it cleaned itself up like the way Times Square cleaned itself up for Disney.

Anyways, what else is there to look forward to? Well, I'm here for another 4 or 5 days. I pine for home, but I might as well stay because I should have the chance to say, been there done that. Maybe I am jaded or too old for my years, or both. I miss my desk, Vancouver and of course, Imus in the Morning. (Damnit, believe it or not, Las Vegas does not carry the syndicated radio program, Imus in the Morning!) Whilst other's would want to be in my place, I must say it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's all that, and then some.

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