Thursday, 01 July 2004
The Stanley Cup for nerds - SPECTATOR - THE COMMENTARY
By Marlon Richmond, for The Commentary
I was originally going to do a timeline of Monday night's election coverage, but I'm just so sick of the election that I'll just summarise it in essay form.
Paul Martin "won," but due to results late in the night, the sum total of seats in the Commons between the Liberals and NDP is currently 154, does not form a coalition majority. Pundits, hacks and other analysts are convinced that there will be an election next year after Martin loses the confidence of the House, and so the people of Canada will have to be subjected to all this nonsense of the political campaign all over again. And get ready for Canadians to get less interested, and sicker of our current scumbag politicians, as the next campaign will be bitter, nasty, negative, and have an even lower voter turnout.
So how did I get through the election coverage Monday night? Well I drank three Rob Roy's during the extended coverage, which was only allowed thanks to freedom of information, and because of the federal court ruling allowing the results to be disseminated on TV without blackouts, so BC was able to see results before the polls closed here. There was still a large gap between the end of results in the Maritimes and the close of polls in central Canada, so Peter Mansbridge gave us a silly tour of the offices and the staircases in the parliament. 45 minutes later, and only 15 minutes after voting in BC ended, a Liberal minority was declared, making the night the usual federal election bore, and suddenly lacking the late night drama we were promised.
Before the polls closed in Newfoundland at 4 p.m. Pacific, the CBC ran a Rick Mercer editorial calling the Canadian election the Stanley Cup, but for nerds. After watching far too much election coverage last night (four networks, pre-shows, post-shows) I feel disoriented, and glad that at least Belinda Stronach won. Now who did I vote for? Well, the Green Party; which was the only party I could feel proud of voting for. I really like their platform, am a left-wing university student who still holds a trace of idealism, plus I really can't stand any of the major candidates in our riding. As Ed the Sock said last night, politicians are just a reflection of society. We don't want unpleasant truths, and demand to be lied to so as to feel better, and then complain when things don't work out perfectly. George Carlin also blames the American people for the problems with politicians, as they all come from American schools, churches, families, exposed to the same media and then voted on by their peers. Society creates the hated politician, who then pretends to be liked to sell you a product, just like cat food or laundry detergent.
So I'm through with politics. I'm embracing apathy. The country won't collapse. Progress will still happen. The young generation of today will vote once they get older. Stop those "get out the vote" campaigns. They don't work. The kids don't care. I'm a political junkie who pays far too much attention to politics, and I no longer care. Stay home next time. Don't vote. If you must vote, don't vote for a major party. Don't pay attention to the next election. You'll thank me later.
Marlon Richmond used to write columns on politics for thecommentary.ca. Now, he just reviews books and writes editorials about anything but politics for thecommentary.ca. You can email him at marlonrichmond@shaw.ca